That bass box of a Balearic island has delivered yet another stompingly dirty year of revelry and now, for me and my family of ravers and soon to be everyone, it is done for, complete, over, finit. Nada. Sepia glazed memories are what remain - ones that manage to cling to my current failure of a hospitable brain.
I, albeit sometimes involuntarily, recall these memories of reliving a time in a place that I could quite easily call home, in all of its sunshiney, musical glory. Enough with the sentiments though. What ensued in our mash up of a holiday far exceeded any fantastical expectations my playground of a mind could fathom up. So here is my experience, purely my experience, in bite size form of what graced my every sense ...in 10 little pointers.
::Ten10Diez::Privilege::
::Saturday,5thSeptember::
The biggest club in the world boasted some fine ass house music played through a sound system that rocked the 10,000 t-rex of a venue, though upon first entrance it was pretty vacant. That could be seen as quite a relief following the itinerary of cosy clubs to come. A giant ball full of glitter gave birth to a bikini clad dancer, a swimming pool separated ravers from the DJ box and above this a giant screen toyed with your mind by flaunting an evil Joker-esque character, who I found out later is, rather unfortunately, 'The Face of Ibiza'. The meeting point for all of the night's entertainment, which included a zombie drag queen and a list of near naked dancers, gathered at a side bar previous to or following their stints - attached to the wall above the bar was a giant cardboard penis, just incase they ever lost their way I assume. On this particular night I had a wholesome experience. However, the following Saturday was the closing party for 'The Face' so I wasn't expecting the flamboyantly, frolicsome, stilt-wearing extravaganza it turned out to be. The large stage opened up box-like for what looked like a circus parade of misfits dancing and prancing to a very camp beat. It wasn't to my taste but it was a unique experience that I doubt I'll witness elsewhere and most of whom remained on the dancefloor looked as though they were enjoying the show, so credit is due for that.
Fact: This venue was used in Freddie Mercury's 'Barcelona' video.
::Nine9Nueve::IbizaRocksClosingParty::
::Tuesday,8thSeptember::I welcomed a change in scene when I stepped onto fairly fresh Ibizan territory, so fresh I didn't want to vodka stain the floor due to my excited shakes. (I believe they stemmed from excitement anyway.) I took it as a break from the bass-fuelled beats of which I have grown to love like they are my own natural conception. The venue, in essence, is an exclusive courtyard of a renowned hotel, surrounded by room balconies full with people obtaining the best views in the ho...tel. The stage was set up besides Ibiza's most common playful theme - a swimming pool - and people were of a more rockier descent, by that I mean dimmed down attire and a dutiful rock chic exterior. I have followed The Klaxons since their inception and their performance was everything me and the crowd were looking for. It was a pragmatic closing party with a poignancy to the final tune 'It's Not Over Yet.' And damn right. It isn't.
::Eight8Ocho::IbizaOldTown::
::VariousDays::
Through the maze of haze and daze, it's rather easy to miss out on the old town. Ibiza Old Town has much to offer in terms of history and culture and it was only whilst walk
ing down narrow back lanes that spew an array of restaurants, shops, markets and bars juxstaposed as if for show that I finally realised the attraction for families. Presumably, this is so when all funny faced revellers return to their respective countries. It's in these back streets where you feel a sense of tradition, more than just a blurred experience confined within loud and sweaty walls, even more so when you catch a granny or two peeling potatoes outside of their own humble stone walls.
:: Seven7Siete::KanyaBar::
::Monday,7thSeptember::
This was a recommendation by a friend who said three beatboxers were to play that evening and that they were pretty damn good. And true to form, Duke were the dogs genitals. It was the kind of performance that left you hankering for a slice of the trio's skills. They played sure fire crowd pleasers, showing diverse range from 'Bonkers' by Dizzee Rascal to 'Til I Come' by ATB to 'Eastern Jam' by Chase And Status. Their perfectly trained vocals alongside a guitar melody stirred the clubbers into a dancing stupor, leaving them ready to continue their nights further and beyond. The bar area outside was delicately lit, entrusting an exotic glow, a perfect accompaniment to the sea views beyond the terrace. Not so much my usual crowd of young loutish beings, but otherwise, congratulations to Duke.
::Six6Seis::VillaVientoSantRafel::
::Friday4th September-Monday14thSeptember::It's often said, by that enigmatic person often labelled as 'They', that what makes a holiday is the people you share it with. And if that f**ks up then Ibiza's music and clubs are a good fall back. Our villa was home to many a morning after, or in some cases afternoon after, those days when you have a choice of hiding away or quite simply starting all over again with the unhealthy behaviour by reaching in to the uselessly warm fridge and grabbing a bittersweet tasting beer. Being in a villa does contribute to the whole experience as it was our little casa away from home whilst ..er.. at home..and ... travelling by bus to a club called..home. Si.
::Five5Cinqo::Sunset Strip::
::Wednesday,9thSeptember::I'm sure that ravers who have been travelling to Ibiza for longer than I've been growing tall can visit the fa
mous sunset strip and gain the same kind of warm feeling within, year in and out. An orgy of revellers take a break, if only for 5 minutes, from the partying by gathering their dancing feet on the rocks or by chilling in Cafe Mambo and watching the sun go down on another day, leaving only the night to be devoured. There's always something rather enlightening about such a natural occurence, and I'm sure the sun is happier for the round of applause it receives for doing what it does so well each and every day. The strip itself was abuzz with noise, particularly with people assembling themselves around Mambo as if enshrined to its power.
::Four4Cuatro::SpaceOnSunday::
::Sunday,6thSeptember::If Ibiza be the breeding ground for sinful behaviour then Space be the temple to purge one's soul. One of the definitive moments for me in Ibiza was entering the holy grounds to be confronted by my God - the big, yellow smiley faced beachball dangling from the net ceiling. In all seriousness, the terrace, it seems, is a meeting point for people whose sole purpose in life is to party very hard. One thing that never lets you down in Space is the music. The prevailing opinion amongst my bunch of ravers was that last year's music was better - but for me, both experiences were equally as mindblowing. Their reasoning could be justified in that the terrace on this particular night wasn't host to any superstar DJ's, though later in the night Steve Lawler was headlining one of the main rooms. A few chaotic moments erupted when various tunes were dropped and turned the terrace into a conjoined jumping marathon, few examples being 'Rose Rouge' by Anaglog People In A Digital World, Gramophonedzie's 'Why Don't You?', and as the terrace was closing, House Of Pain's timeless classic 'Jump Around'. Just marvellous.
::Three3Tres::ZooProject::
::Saturday,5thSeptember::We began our clubbing marathon in a temptuous, cheeky little venue called The Zoo Project. This particular night was entitled 'The Gala Night Grand Finale'. I didn't quite know what to expect as very little research was undertook beforehand, quite purposefully, thus to lead me into a state of excitement bred from entering the unknown - though whispers through the speakervine had me believe that people ran amock and raved around a defunct zoo in outrageous, if not very teeny, oufits to minimal tech, deep house and underground. That turned out to be an accurate summary. The open grounds were vast, with separate areas dedicated to their particular niche, whether they be used for debauchorous revelry, a bouncy castle home to a silent disco, a swimming pool or masseuse corner. Whether a massage under the stars is more gratifying than dancing amongst animalistic characters is your choice, but mine was to avoid any areas except for the open, dancing grounds. The music was deep house later merging into minimal tech, both styles allowed space for baby-sized drops in the peak of a tune that sent the crowds a little bit crazy. A moment that sticks to mind like gluey, Ibizan sweat was when the DJ dropped Madison Avenue's 'Don't Call Me Baby'. It's not what I'd call the cream of top tunes, however, the sheer reaction from the crowd was enough to show it was the right thing to do. This tune is iconicly Balearic - the cheeky, low-toned bass is Ibizan through and through, epitomising the house set for that night. All in all a very unique experience with music that differs from the yoosh.
::Two2Dos::Eden 'Reclaim The Dancefloor'::
::Tuesday,8thSeptember::Boy, did we reclaim that dancefloor. Then owned it. Then signed on the dotted line for it. The club itself was a fairly usual space, it could have been mistook for somewhere here in the UK in terms of size and layout, apart from the dangling red glowsticks. Though it just goes to show that the best fun doesn't have to be had inside a glamourised palace of a club. This night was all about a genius line up in the form of urban masters Chase & Status, dubstep drama Caspa and electro pop doyen Digitalism. The heavy bass shook the floor upon every beat and tunes were interchanged in quick succession, which left me in a state of monsoon confusion. It was a mixture of spontaneity and line-up that led us to this night, and following The Klaxons at Ibiza Rocks it's rather obvious that trends within music are quite easily transferred to an island that bathes itself in a hotpool of pioneered thinking. Big highlights come from both Chase & Status's and Caspa's sets including 'Eastern Jam' & 'Pieces' by Chase & Status, Deadmau5's 'I Remember' in Caspa's set and a tune so good it was played twice, Nneka's 'Heartbeat' (Chase & Status mix). Unbearably good.
::One1Uno::Pacha!F*** Me Im Famous::
::Thursday,10thSeptember:: However much I cringe at the thought of David Guetta swimming in his cheese-string backlog of hits, this night proved to be nothing short of spectacular. It was obligatory for me to get down off of my high horse and stomp my raving feet to the likes of his summe
r anthems 'When Love Takes Over' featuring Kelly Rowland and 'Sexy Bitch' featuring Akon, which in this setting found even the likes of snobby ol' me singing along. But let's keep that between you and me. His hit releases proved a popular choice alongside other notable tunes full of heavy house beats, filling the love-cramped room with a feeling of ecstasy. Pacha itself delivers that rare and funky sense of adult clubbing - sensual, provocative and dirty in a uniquely classy way, showcasing give-or-take stage shows of sex and dance. If there is one club in the world that guarantees a pure clubbing experience then this is it. Smear it all over yourself, get down 'n' dirty and submit to the one and only Pacha, Eivissa.
